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Stop Me, Please

I'm literally writing like Naruto/Star Wars fusion fic where Sasuke is basically Kylo Ren and then he and Naruto... bang in an X-Wing, it's literally all just a thinly veiled setup to make X-Wing banging happen. Everything is terrible and I am terrible too.

I was going to try to just do a Star Wars one but I don't have any real Star Wars OTPs and it would have to be a 'Five Times' fic and I know there's apparently an amazing author out there who is ACTUALLY working on a fic EXACTLY LIKE THAT, PRAISE BE.

PS: Naruto's X-Wing is OBVIOUSLY painted EXACTLY LIKE POE DAMERON'S.

A VERY SERIOUS POLL FOR SCIENCE

Poll #2036266 THE GREAT COCKPIT SEX DEBATE OF 2K16

IS THERE ENOUGH ROOM TO FUCK IN THE COCKPIT OF AN X-WING? (OR A GUNDAM. OR ANY FIGHTER PLANE.)

YES. ANY SEX. ALL THE SEX.
3(11.5%)
YES BUT ONLY LAP SEX MAYBE
6(23.1%)
IN AN X-WING BUT NOT A GUNDAM
2(7.7%)
IN A GUNDAM BUT NOT AN X-WING
0(0.0%)
I DON'T KNOW BUT I BET KARA THRACE DOES
3(11.5%)
I DON'T KNOW BUT I'D LIKE TO FIND OUT IF _____________ WAS OFFERING
2(7.7%)
THERE IS NO ROOM IN ANY COCKPIT ANYWHERE
1(3.8%)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU EMILY
1(3.8%)
LOL, "COCKPIT."
8(30.8%)
SOMETHING ELSE I WILL WRITE IN COMMENTS
0(0.0%)


So myself and x_dark_siren_x have been having a discussion that is ENTIRELY TO BLAME on my fascination with the subject at hand, and then the flames were fanned by a fic that she IS CURRENTLY WRITING AND I HAVE BEEN A PROUD AND TERRIBLE INFLUENCE ON, and then there was a Tumblr discussion about the technicalities of cockpit sex and it culimnated in me videoing myself attempting to straddle a chair to argue the logistics of this stupid, stupid situation.

So, er, yeah. ....How's life with you guys? >.>;
I'm literally copying and pasting this from Tumblr. >.>;

So I’m starting to realize that my personal perspective on characters like Snape, Kylo Ren, and (sorry) Darth Vader and their ‘redemption’ is basically based in the fact that I grew up watching Xena: Warrior Princess.

For anyone who doesn’t know, Xena spent like ten years as an evil murdering warlord. (Though - and this is important - she always had a Don’t Kill Women and Children policy. No baby deaths. An almost-baby death is one of the things that eventually started her on the path to Good.)

And she wears her infamy like a cloak - it follows her. She didn’t choose a new name when she started killing innocent people - she was Xena. The same Xena as the well-intentioned farm girl she used to be. And after she turned Good, she was still Xena. It was all part of her legacy. Throughout the series, many people hate her, spit on her, and try to exact their revenge for the things she’d done. She spends much of the series walking an interesting line - someone who knows she deserves whatever they want to dish out, but doesn’t want to die. Someone who’s come close to letting herself be executed more than once. There’s an episode - a terrible episode, but it had an interesting ending - that culminated in some of the other characters being cleansed/forgiven of their sins at some temple or another. Xena walked away because she didn’t think she deserved it.

And the thing is, she spends the series living. Because she might as well. Because no one thing - not her trial and death, not her saving someone’s life, or a thousand people’s lives, could ever make up for what she had done. Saving one life doesn’t cancel out taking another - and even if it had, she’d have had to toil for decades to even come close to evening the score. What she has to do, the only thing she can do, is spend the rest of her time on this earth doing Good. Helping people. Making things right.

Even while she has friends who would absolve her of her wrongdoings, the main narrative supports her perspective, not theirs. It reminds us that the scales will never balance.

One life saved, or one person loved, does not redemption make. Not for someone who has committed - or is complicit in - mass murder.

Ranting About Snape, Kylo Ren, and VaderCollapse )

HEY STAR WARS FANS

1) DON'T JUDGE ME

2) I might be looking for fic recs for the original trilogy and The Force Awakens. >.>;

3) Literally any pairing, though Poe/Finn is kind of my jam. I think I've already read every good Luke Skywalker/Han Solo fic that exists, so.

4) I am a terrible shallow human who wants a Luke Skywalker-travels-to-the-future fic just so I can have the young hot version of him interacting with the TFA crew WHY AM I SO TERRIBLE THIS IS LITERALLY AWFUL AND IF ANY DUDE SAID THE SAME THING ABOUT LEIA I'D BE SO PISSED UGH @ ME

5) But literally any fic rec would be awesome. ESPECIALLY IF IT HAD LITERALLY ANY KIND OF TIME TRAVEL.

6) ANY RECOMMENDATIONS? :D?

Tags:

Title: Wattleford, Bumbleby. Potterwatch: Underground Radio and the Voice of a Revolution. Hogsmeade: Widdershins, 2006

Summary: "Potterwatch was legitimized by its dedication to truth, capacity for serious discourse, and avoidance of reverse-propaganda. This separated it from other rebel media, such as the short-lived radio programme Up Voldemort’s Arse which spent several months insisting that Harry Potter was raising an army of dragons in Romania." - Snackleholt, Bingsley. "In A Time of Great Need." Wixen Politics Weekly 24 May 2002. Print.

Title: Scenes of Our Other Life
Rating: PG-15
Summary: He was Uchiha Sasuke, civilian boyfriend of the Hokage hopeful, but it would never erase the infamy of the other Uchiha Sasuke - ninja traitor, war criminal, and Naruto’s dead asshole best friend.
A/N: This is a very, very late timestamp fic for ronsard. Sequel to "Find You" and "Of Ninja and Ceilings and Lives Less Ordinary."

Also, I apparently have a thing for Sasuke fighting people while underdressed.

Naruto Fics I Will Never Write

It's come to my attention that I am a lazy failure of a fic writer, and I am probably never, ever going to finish (or even start) these fics, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise. This is basically me admitting defeat while simultaneously shedding the weight of angsting about these all the time, lol.

So here's all that exists of them, whether it's just a summary or a half-finished story.

Sorry. DX

Title: Doctor Who AU (???)
Summary: Sasuke thinks that Naruto dies? And gets his shit together while traveling with the Doctor? IDK?

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Title: Someone Else's Game (LOL TOTAL 'WICKED' REFERENCE) AU
Summary: The Uchiha form a village independent of Konoha after their war with the First Hokage ends in bloody strife, not peace. Naruto and Sasuke meet during a training exercise as two boys from opposing villages under an unease truce.  As the fragile peace collapses, Naruto fights to keep his friend on the right side, and Sasuke, for once in his life, decides to be nobody’s pawn. AU.

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Title: Ten Years Before Find You for cupricanka
Summary: AU!Sasuke's childhood and... stuff.

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Title: Three Years After Find You for ronsard.
Summary: AU!Sasuke tries to fit in, in canon!Naruto's world.
A/N
: Apparently I have a thing for Sasuke fighting people while underdressed.

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Title: Five Months After Sinking for greenlight6
Summary: It gets harder before it gets easier.

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Title: Team Seven Interaction Before And Time Runs Out for greenlight6
Summary: Awkward.

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THIS IS NOT A DRILL

UM WHY ARE THEY CASTING A BUNCH OF WHITE PEOPLE IN THE NEW DEATH NOTE MOVIE ;_;

Tho: "Adam Wingard is directing with a script by Jeremy Slater (Fantastic Four)." Hahahahahaha. Okay.